Text embroidered onto dress: What is prominent in the psychological life of many women is not penis envy, but fear of loss of love (she knows that her whole life is romantic, an adventure in which she yearns with a sense of wonder to expressively connect with that which is outside of her), which belongs with a cluster of traits frequently observed in women in our culture: dependency (she makes another plan, this one for remaining single), fear of independence (she believes that she can take care of herself), fear of abandonment and of being alone (she learns to appreciate solitude), and an unrelenting longing for a love relationship with a man (she giggles at the idea of a soul mate, mirrors are for bathrooms and hallways). These characteristics do not derive from early development, as so many of the first generation psychoanalysts supposed. They originate rather in fear of being a single woman (she vows to never marry due to fright).
A soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating that takes place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. When she told her friend, “I think (qualifier) he could (qualifier) be the one,” she hadn’t realized that she was under the power of effortless religious love.